Identifying Belief... SMASHED! (Hint... I'm NOT a Stepford Wife!!)

During my weekly journal prompts the topic came up of taking a serious look at certain beliefs that we hold and how they may have changed over the years. Looking at various topics or issues and writing down your belief about that issue that you had in childhood, as a teenager, as a young adult and then now as an older adult. The process allowed me to see the pattern of changes that have occurred over time. 

Some of those beliefs remained constant throughout; but many others changed quite drastically over time! Today I'm going to focus only on ONE of those beliefs!  

One of the most prominent beliefs that came up was that of being the "good wife". As a young woman my views around this revolved around having to be submissive and somewhat of a "home-body". Unfortunately, this whole idea of what a good wife was just didn't fit with the PERSON I was! In my mind the good wife was quiet and submissive. Someone who was unconditionally supportive of her husband... (who just happened to always have the best of intentions and acted in the utmost way both ethically and morally). She was someone who baked cookies and made sure dinner was ready for her husband. She would never do or say anything that her husband found offensive or remotely inappropriate. 

She was a stepford wife... and trying to fit that ideal was so far removed for me. I was loud and opinionated. I was terrible in the kitchen! And quite frankly, didn't feel like I should have to take on ownership for the way someone else responds or feels or reacts to something I say or do (within reason). 

Fast forward to mid-level adulthood and my beliefs on this issue have done a drastic 180'!  Well... that's not to say I've become a TERRIBLE wife!! But, more so an empowered woman! I've learned to re-evaluate my own interpretation of what a "good wife" entails. I've accepted that I am not a submissive, quiet person; but rather an opinionated and, quite frankly, a rather loud individual. And those qualities are OKAY....  and that they mesh well with certain people even if they don't jive with others! 

What brought about this change in this belief? The short answer is enlightenment. And the little bit longer answer is that I went through so many crappy, controlling relationships that I was (finally) able to recognize what a crappy relationship LOOKED like... so I could actually be on the lookout for the complete opposite! In this particular instance, I believe that the change in my belief around what a good wife is, has been a positive one. It is empowering and liberating on so many levels and has allowed me to flourish in so many other areas of life. 

What is ONE belief you had that eventually CHANGED over time? Has it been a positive or negative change? Share in the comments below!

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