Know Your Circle.... Not Everyone Is Rowing With You.

You know that old saying... it goes something like this: Not everyone in your boat may be helping you paddle.... some may be drilling holes when you're not looking. It speaks to the importance of truly knowing the people in your "tribe"; those that are supposed to be on your "team". We all have "haters" in our lives... but when those "haters" are people you THOUGHT were supporters... it stings a bit. 

I suppose I shouldn't be so naive! I've lived long enough to have seen this happen over and over again. The fact is, it seems inevitable that there will be people that (for some reason) choose to remain in your circle, despite the fact that they really don't want to see you succeed. 

And, once again, this was made abundantly clear to me just the other day. People I had thought were on the same projectory to a successful team... showed that they were in fact on a very different plane that I was. Words meant to inspire and create action were met with disdain and disgust. 

It was a tough pill to swallow; but the harsh reality was that these were not "my people". They were not a part of my "tribe". Oh, they may have been at one time. But just like energy flows ever changing, so do people and thus so does our tribe. Sometimes, as you're in a forward moving momentum- those around you choose not to keep the same pace. And that's okay. Every one of us is trekking our journeys at our own personal pace. 

But alas, it happens. And we can't allow that vibe to keep us in a place of low vibration or stagnation. And so we press forward... But, how best to deal with it? Well, I'm never REALLY sure. I do believe that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. So, with that being said- all the prodding and inspiring in the world won't make some people stick with you. And so with those people I try to dissociate. Make a space between us; a separation. 

In some cases, we simply aren't able to remove those people from our lives. Maybe they are family or people that we work with. For those people, I try to distance myself as much as possible. After all, their presence in my life only serves to hold me back. And by ALLOWING them to hold that space... I am ALLOWING them to keep (or try to keep) me in a place of stagnation and slow growth... to meet THEIR perception of success. 

It is vital to keep your passion burning regardless of the "haters". Because ultimately, the vibe you keep putting out will undoubtedly attract the tribe that's meant for you. Those with the same mindset - who are operating at a similar vibrational frequency. They will gravitate towards you, while others fade away. Remembering yet another saying: Your vibe attracts your tribe!

In some ways we can think of it like high school. I always told my teenage children- don't worry who does or doesn't like you in high school, in 5 years you'll never even hear from any of those people - friend OR foe. And I find it similar with our "tribes" or circle of friends throughout our life. Only a select few will remain with you for the long haul, often waxing and waning in and out of our lives throughout. The rest will fade away, replaced by people who are walking the same path at the same time as us. And that is just how it is meant to be.....

Got Haters?? Good for you!!

Haters... we all have them! Even if you don't really KNOW you have them... it's most likely that you DO have at least ONE! 

For the most part, nobody likes the haters! We'd much rather surround ourselves with our tribe... our fans. Those are the ones who stand by us through thick and thin. They support our endeavors and encourage us to keep pressing forward. Those are our PEOPLE! 

But what of the haters? They make us feel crappy. They are completely un-supportive. They just lurk around, checking out what you're up to, so they can pass judgement. What can possibly be good about THAT?

Well, let's look at what's good about having a few haters! 

For one thing, haters love to see what you're up to! This means they are watching your videos and checking out your posts on social media! How does that help you? Well, they are actually increasing your view counts and helping to improve your analytics! Rock on haters!! 

Another way that those haters will help you is by sharing your stuff! Oh, now we know their intention is to share it with people they know to say "hey, look at what this psycho is up to now!"; but they are SHARING none-the-less! 

And what happens when they share? Well, the people that view THEIR shares are going to see YOUR posts and YOUR videos! And, they may be haters too! But they too are helping to improve your view counts and analytics! 

And sometimes, someone a hater shares to will take a look and think differently than the hater. Sometimes, that friend of the hater will be pretty impressed and wonder why the hater has so much hate. And that person will become an unknown ally; possibly a client. 

I know this all sounds pretty simplistic and easier said than done. The fact is that when a hater makes a negative comment or post directed towards you, it hurts. It's as though old wounds are opening and vinegar is being poured over them. It leaves a sting and that sting can send you crawling back into your hole filled with shame and fear of putting yourself out there again. 

But what if we changed our perception a bit? 

What if, instead of allowing those words from the haters to pierce the old wounds and re-open them; we altered our thinking and trained our brains to see them in a positive way?

What if we conditioned our minds to equate hateful comments with growth instead? Purposefully thinking, each time we encounter those negative people, that they are instrumental in our spiritual growth. So that rather than giving in to that "sting" we are able to push through it easier and in the process we become stronger. 

I challenge you to make a conscious effort to train your brain to associate the sting of a haters comment to personal growth and success. After all, we are in control of our mind and thus our emotional responses to our thoughts. So, take control! Run that "brain factory" the way YOU want it to be run... for YOUR highest good! 

Share your experiences in the comments below! Got Haters? That must mean you're on the right track!

Check out my web page at www.ravenhaze.com and find me on Facebook HERE! Make sure you check out my closed Facebook Group for more discussion! (Closed Group Raven Haze HERE!)