Celebrating Happiness- Do You Do It? Lessons from The Chimp Paradox

Happiness is in fact a choice. And for the most part I have always thought that I WAS happy. I mean- it's one thing to be "happy" when things are going good. I think most of us have that part down pat. It's another thing to choose to be happy even when our outward reality looks like crap. And in the past few years, I certainly worked on THAT!! And pretty much feel like I have been doing a good job at being happy despite outward circumstances. 

Even with the ups and downs in life, there are those who CHOOSE to be happy among even the tough times; and these are the people I chose to emulate.

But the other day I read through the Chimp Paradox book and it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I was doing something wrong. Maybe I was missing a huge piece of this puzzle. This is a fantastic book that deals with our mindset. And more importantly, how we can take better control of our mindset!

You see, the book stated that pushing to do too much can actually push us to want even MORE "things" to bring about happiness. In other words, we focus so much on the goals, the end result and the "steps" to that ultimate goal; that we are essentially conditioning our minds to always WANT. So what happens is that when we finally do reach that "ultimate goal", we are UNABLE to truly have happiness with it. 

Consider this example from the book: 

An athlete who never celebrates the "smaller" accomplishments on the way up to getting that Gold medal, will likely not feel that happiness she is expecting when she does get the gold. She'll want to move to the next potential win.

When I read that, I realized that this was something I had been doing for a long time now. I never truly celebrated the moments in life that I should have. (All those stepping stones to that ultimate goal). When I got my Associates degree, I was happy on the inside. But, at the same time, I immediately began to focus on the next goal... the Bachelor's degree. And so on and so forth. Each time, I realized that I had never truly celebrated each accomplishment and allowed myself the experience of being and expressing happiness. And then when I finally reached that final goal, it wasn't quite as sweet as it could have been. 

So, from this point forward, I will allow myself to CELEBRATE the wins. I will bask in the FEELINGS of happiness with each success. And I challenge all of you to do the same! Forget being humble and not wanting to "brag"! Share your successes! Share your moments of happiness! And bask in that happiness for each of those precious moments in your life! 

Try this exercise from the book... I've added a few things to it!

Make a list of all the things in your life that you believe that you need to be happy. Next to this list, write down how you can bring those things into your life. Next you'll want to work that list. Bring those things into your reality. And finally- be sure to celebrate each success! 

Book Review: The Goodly Spellbook ~ Olde Spells for Modern Problems

Probably my second most reached for book on the shelf would have to be this book: The Goodly Spellbook ~ Olde Spells for Modern Problems by Lady Passion, High Priestess and Diuvei, High Priest (Dixie Deerman and Steven Rasmussen). I have this book in soft cover format. I don't quite recall why I chose to purchase this particular book, but I suspect it had something to do with the description on the back! 

"The Goodly Spellbook traces the history of magic and teaches you how to create spells for your own needs and circumstances. Relying on ancient tried and true material as well as on the authors' real-life experiences and anecdotes, this book details global Craft history, teaches hands-on magical techniques and provides ancient and modern spells." 

If you are strictly looking for spells- no doubt you will find those here! But what you also find so much more in the entire first half of the book. The authors begin by discussing the "how to's" of spell workings. They delve into topics such as divination and planetary correspondences. They show the magic that can be found in musical notes and how to create effective sigils and seals. That is just a sampling of what is covered in the first half! It is fairly in-depth and offers quite a bit of information that you'd be hard pressed to find elsewhere. 

The second half of the book details the spells. They cover healing, protection, attraction, discernment, concealment and repulsion. They often show spell variations as well, which is useful for many practitioners. What I particularly like is that they detail the origins of the spell and the magical theory of each spell. I tend to like to know the "why" of what I'm doing and have always loved the historical aspect. 

I think the only thing that keeps me from reaching for this book more than any other is the grouping of the spells in the table of contents. I know it seems petty, but seriously, that's all I've got! It could just be that I'm getting older and prefer bolder font... or that I am too lazy to consider which category a particular spell might fall under! By taking half a second to use my brain and think- it's clear that money spells, for example, would be located under spells of attraction. But, I am so often used to seeing them under the topic "MONEY". So, technically, it isn't even a negative towards the BOOK, but rather my own "issue"!! 

Overall, I think this book has a great deal of merit. It's very good for beginners as it allows the reader to learn some of the basics. At the same time, an advanced practitioner will undoubtedly learn at least ONE new thing! This will likely be one of those books that you keep going back to intermittently as you grow in your path. 

Share your thoughts on this book in the comments section!!! I'd love to hear what YOU have to say!

5 Ways to Fail with your Spell Work

1. Willy Nilly Substitutions

Now, before everyone starts bashing me for this one, let me clarify! On one hand, I do believe that those tried and true spells that have been passed on for generations should be left as is. After all, they have a proven success rate. On the other hand, I do realize that many times we may not have a particular ingredient and may NEED to substitute something else. The thing is, when we are making substitutions, it's extremely important to research the QUALITIES of the ingredient we are needing to find a substitute FOR and making sure that we choose an ingredient that matches those qualities. I've seen so many comments and posts that haphazardly ask for a substitute for a particular ingredient and well meaning people sharing what they would substitute with. I can only hope that the person asking will then take the time to research for themselves to be certain. You wouldn't want to inadvertently substitute with something that may offer slightly different qualities. 

2. Lack of Focus

There are many new practitioners who wrongly believe that simply lighting a candle and walking away will produce the desired results. Sadly, this is not the case. Focusing on your intention as your spell is working can be a rather important part in the process and one that is often neglected. It is so important to clearly visualize the outcome you are shooting for. Seeing it as though it is real in your minds eye. And even more than that- FEELING it. Allowing yourself to actually experience the emotions that you KNOW you will have once this manifests. 

Now, here's the thing with focus.... 

When I say it's important to have focus... I mean, WHILE you are doing your spell. When you've consecrated, anointed and lit your candle (for example); you may find better results if you sit in front of that candle and do your meditation- visualizing the outcome, etc. Even if you have to leave the candle for a time (because it's a taper candle or simply takes longer to burn down); you'll want to be sure that you remain nearby and at the very least, intermittently look at your candle and focus on your outcome. 

AFTER your candle has burned down- you'll want to TRUST and have FAITH that your spell has been successful. KNOW that the universe has things in the works to bring about your desired outcome. ACT as though this is already happening. 

3. Being a Micro Manager

You walk into work Monday morning and your boss gives you ONE task to do for the entire week. You're pretty excited about doing this because you know you've done it so many times before and you know exactly how to get it done. You got this! 

A few hours later, your boss is looking over your shoulder questioning your methods. All week he's popping his head in your office checking up on your work and offering his advice on how to do it better. So, what was meant to be a quick and easy work assignment turns into an absolute nightmare for you! You want to turn around and shout at him "If you think you can do it better, then just DO IT yourself!!"

Nobody likes a micro-managing boss. Remember, "as above, so below".... same holds true for the spirit realm! When we start micro managing HOW our spell is supposed to manifest, we are micro managing! When we get a new job, it often comes with a JOB DESCRIPTION. We are supposed to be responsible for what's listed on that job description and avoid taking on the duties and tasks that aren't in our job description. The "HOW" part of spell workings is NOT in our job description! That's the universe's job. (Or whatever deity you've called upon for help). When we do a spell and then constantly look for the outcome to come to us in the way WE expect it to.... we are imposing limits on a limitless universe. When Jeff does a spell for an extra $500 bucks to come his way in the month of December and then only focuses on whether or not he's getting that Holiday Bonus from work- he's placing limits on the universe. Quite possibly, the universe planned on bringing that money in a very different way. Maybe it was coming in smaller amounts from other sources. Maybe it was coming in the form of winning a new flat screened television in a raffle he had entered. Poor Jeff will never know since he's only looking at the HOW that HE was planning for. 

4.  Being a "Doubting Thomas"

Consider this scenario-- it's been four days since Janice did her candle spell and she hasn't seen any indication of it working yet. Her ex-boyfriend is still dating someone else and hasn't responded to her last text message. Out of frustration, she tells her best friend "he's never coming back! he'll probably even marry this new girl!" ..... What did Janice just do here? I'll tell you what she did... she just screwed up her entire spell. In fact, she just spoke into existence the exact OPPOSITE of what she wanted! Don't be like Janice!!!! Cut out the negative talk, texts and posts!! There is NO room for doubt in spell work! 

5. Getting super disappointed 

So, you've done your spell and nothing happened. You did that money spell 3 weeks ago and with one week left in the month, you've gotten a whopping $0 .... So you start getting depressed. And anxious about how you're gonna pay those bills. And even though you don't actually SAY anything negative (because you know damn well you don't wanna SPEAK that negativity into existence!)... your inner self starts thinking of what you're going to do when you can't pay those bills. Our thoughts and emotions play a big part in our spell workings. Remember the old saying... If you think you CAN, you're right... and if you think you CAN'T... well, you're right, too! Allowing that sadness, melancholy, and anxiety to creep into your thoughts can have a negative impact on the outcome you're trying to achieve. And believe me, I know it's normal to have those feelings and thoughts. We've been conditioned all of our lives with those thoughts. But I also know how important it is to recognize them, acknowledge them for what they are and then symbolically PUSH them out of your mind. They do nothing to serve you. Instead, think of all the possibilities that the universe may bring your way in that final hour!!!  

Eliminating these 5 bad habits from your spell casting will help you to experience the results that you're looking for! There's a lot more to spell workings than just what I have posted here, but these issues have been the most common ones that I have seen in people who struggle with success. Share in the comments below- any other ways that you've seen or experienced with spells that don't seem to manifest! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Giving... a part of the manifesting process... But HOW to give when we got no $$$$!!!!

When we talk about manifesting what we want in our lives, we hear a lot about the act of clearing out clutter and giving to others. For many of us, the act of "giving" brings up immediate comments and feelings about "how can I possibly GIVE to others when I, myself, am in so much need??"

But, alas, everything we read or watch related to manifesting indicates that when we give we seem to be opening the doors for the universe to bring about "more" in our own lives. Giving is paramount. But let's get our heads out of the clouds and get real for a minute. How the heck does someone GIVE when they seem to have nothing TO give? 

Last week I put my "request" out to the universe. I asked that money just come to me and said "I am open to receiving" any and all money. And then nothing happened. Well, nothing miraculous anyway! In fact, what I got instead was a friend in NEED of some money! Well, even though I didn't have much to give, I sent some anyway. At this point, I had sort of forgotten that I had asked the universe to bring money TO me. I sent it without an expectation in return. And what I got was so much more than what I had sent. Just after that - I got a two month subscription for free. And the bigger (in my mind) thing that came about was that the following day I got an email that my Ad-Sense account had been approved again! 

There are a few people who know that this whole ad-sense thing and monetizing my YouTube videos has been a thorn in my side for the past six months at least! (Ever since YouTube changed their rules!) So, for me to get this email was a HUGE moment of gratitude and happiness!! 

You see, at first I didn't make the connection between the different incidents, because when you look at them on the surface, one doesn't have anything to do with the other. But, in the grand scheme of things, I believe that they ARE in fact interconnected. I honestly believe that the act of giving helped to open those doors to the others. 

But I do realize that it isn't always easy to give when it comes to money; especially when you're struggling to make ends meet. Trust me, I get that! So I wanted to talk about other ways we can give. Ways that are (maybe) a little more manageable when handing out cash isn't an option. 

1. Cleaning out a closet and donating what you don't need. It can be simply dropped off to the Goodwill OR you can make a post on Facebook (or Facebook Market) and offer it for FREE. Take it a step further and donate clothes to a transgender teen or young adult who may be struggling with other expenses. Or donate your "professional" looking suits to a charity that gives clothing to people just entering the workforce. 

2. Make something and give it away for free. Are you crafty? Have a specialty? Can you whip up a knitted hat and scarf set in no time? In the hospitals, the maternity wards always need hand knitted or crochet hats for the babies. And I'm pretty certain anyone who is homeless would love a hat, scarf or blanket in the cold weather. Maybe knitting isn't your thing- how about drawing or painting (if that's your thing) and donating your pieces somewhere. 

3. Offer to help someone with a task. I don't necessarily mean cleaning or yard work here. It could be something as simple as helping someone edit their blog post or showing someone how to set up a web page for their new business. 

4. Got some knowledge to share? Teach a quick workshop online or in person and offer it for free. Online can be done in a live video presentation or in a classroom platform such as Zoom. In person, can be done at your home or even at the local library. You can even offer to tutor kids at the local library. 

5. Send some energy healing out to someone! Maybe you know Reiki or some other form of energy work. Maybe you can just send out some loving pink light instead. 

6. Send a handwritten letter to someone in the military. We often forget how meaningful handwritten letters and cards can be. And as we go about our busy lives, we tend to neglect people we know who are serving our country. They may be busy too, but getting a quick letter from you may be just what they needed that day! (Don't know anyone? PM me... I got peeps!)

7. Send a letter to someone serving time in prison- if you know anyone! They are often VERY appreciative of letters! (Don't know anyone? PM me, I got these peeps too!)

8. Offer to babysit or elder-sit for a mom or dad who could use an hour or so of free time!

9. Got a truck? Offer to help someone who needs to move something or pick something up. (within your town/city). 

10. Have old towels you were going to toss? Bring them down to your local animal shelter or pound and donate them instead. Maybe grab an inexpensive bag of dog food on your way. While you're there, show some love to a few animals!

11. You know all those extra things we get in the mail? I'm talking about those little note pads and free things companies send in order to get a donation. My mom gets tons of Native American "God's Eyes", small/thin blankets from animal charities, and so much more. Why not gather all of those things together and donate them to a school, church or convalescent home? Or even a homeless shelter? 

12. Did you go through menopause? Or get some form of birth control where you no longer menstruate? Sounds super weird.... but I can tell you that tampons and pads are VERY hard to come by when you're a homeless woman! If you're not using them... DONATE them! 

When we really take a minute to look around - we have SO much more to give than we may initially think. I have seen the homes of people who live in other parts of the world and can tell you for a fact that we in the USA are truly blessed beyond measure. Anyone who has ever seen a stray dog or a homeless person sitting on the corner- has seen a NEED. 
When I look in my kitchen and see those crackers that I bought that I think taste like shit. Or the instant rice I got for convenience, and then realized I don't like the taste- I am looking at STUFF that someone else can use and that I can GIVE. I can go on and on with so many more examples!

What are some other ways we can GIVE without money? 

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Valuing our Female Relationships

Showing Support and Making Connections 

What does it mean really? In days past, we would show support to our community of people and friends by stopping by with a loaf of bread or even picking up the phone and having a heart to heart conversation. 

But, alas, times change, don't they? When was the last time you spoke to a friend on the phone? For that matter, when was the last time you made something and hand delivered it to someone as a caring thought?

Showing support is such an important part of our relationships with other people. Having people to support you allows you to maintain positive coping skills and lead a happier and healthier life. 

Watch out for the pearls....

A long time ago, I worked in nursing homes quite a bit. They were primarily filled with elderly patients. And, guess what? I would say roughly 90% of those elderly patients were WOMEN. I can remember one patient in particular. She used to tell me to value my female friendships. I didn't understand what she was really saying at the time. But with age comes wisdom. 

That lovely little lady was giving me pearls of wisdom... if only I would listen to the melody behind the words. In our life, women will likely outlive our male partners; and it is vital for us to develop and maintain our friendships and connections with other women. 

But in this day and age, showing support can often have a very different "look" to it. And yet... showing support remains just as important NOW as it did in days gone by! So, the question then becomes, HOW do we show support in this electronic age? How do we show support when our friend doesn't live right next door... or even in the same state? 

Just how CAN I show my support?

Let's hash through some of the ways that we can still show support and build connections with others in the digital age. 

Being "present". Just like in days gone by, showing your presence continues to be a vital part of maintaining strong relationships. How can we show our presence online? Well, it's actually pretty easy. And in fact, takes very little time out of our busy lives. It involves clicking a LIKE button. Being present can mean SHARING a friends POST. This shows your friend that you value them and want to help in their success. 

Just shooting someone a quick message via Facebook messenger, Text, Twitter or any other social media account let's that person know that you are still in their thoughts. Letting this be a more individual message, rather than a chain message goes a lot further! I know a few women who have done this for me and if I recall, I didn't even respond. I wasn't in a space to be social at that time as some depression was kicking in and I was simmering there for a bit... but I can promise you- those messages helped. 

What are some of the ways YOU have shown support and strengthened those connections in a digital world? 

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Do you KNOW yourself? Do you Accept yourself?

When you know yourself, you are empowered. When you accept yourself, you are invincible!

A simple quote with so much meaning! But... what DOES it mean? What does it mean to "know yourself"? I mean, really know yourself. 

To know yourself means to know your beliefs, to know what you like and don't like and what you'll stand for and what you won't stand for. In other words- you've set some boundaries. It involves an awareness of WHO you are as a person. 

I am a spiritual person who holds various views on spiritual issues that I have come to learn over a period of YEARS. I like staying home and I dislike being excessively social. I am accepting of others views; but I won't tolerate others pushing those views on me. Knowing these things about myself has resulted in a feeling of empowerment. Much like a newly trained employee who is being sent into the workforce... you know, like a college kid! You've got some values and belief and you are excited to stand in your truth. 

But, often times; we stand in our truth and don't expect the backlash that comes. Maybe we aren't prepared, or as prepared as we thought we were. In those times, a person may begin to doubt their truth. They may become unsure of the position they've taken or the path they've chosen. 

The second part is ACCEPTANCE

When we ACCEPT ourselves, however; we become invincible. Accepting ourselves includes accepting that even if our truth or beliefs don't jive with the rest of the worlds; we are okay with that. This is me and I am comfortable with the ME that I am. Acceptance is just that; a trust and confidence in where I stand on certain topics; be they large or small. 

When I am acting like a "bitch"... I am OWNING that shit!! That is ME. And I am okay with the ME that I am, even if others around me aren't comfortable with it or even LIKE it. The opinions of others are none of my business!!

So, I ask you this: Do you KNOW yourself? And even more so, do you ACCEPT yourself for who you are, flaws and all? 

Expand YOUR knowledge with my online self-guided courses!!! 

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• Shamanic Soul Retrieval Reiki
• Karmic Reiki
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• Tibetan Reiki
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• Intro to Tarot
• Cartomancy: Divining with Playing Cards

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